laptopped:

"you’re all posers" i say to the models. they are very good at their job

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 254185 notes

dioburandou:

daemontool:

remember this show where this one dude had to guess what is he smelling and he put his nose into someones asshole and went “smells like ass” and the commentator went “correct” and this dude did the funniest expression ever. wheres that gif

image

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 83551 notes

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 23242 notes

aos-skimmons:

that-big-gay-impala:

THE SARCASM IN THIS POST IN LETHAL

woman mothers.

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 213797 notes


jinxley:

bambigraham:

jinxley:

my little sister officially turned 10 yesterday and because i’m in another state i couldn’t see her so i called instead to sing happy birthday and when i was done she whispered “gay” and hung up on me

is that the same sister who put her burned hand on your heart because ‘it was so nice and cold’

that would be the sister

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 246782 notes

shutupvevo:

on the one hand it’s a joke but on the other hand where is the lie

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 45697 notes

  • kids: hey dad where are we going for our next vacation
  • me: well lets see kids
  • me: *throws dart at map of the world*
  • me: hm
  • me: another trip to the middle of the pacific ocean
2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 32572 notes

lameprlncess:

a good artist knows where to draw the line

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 158058 notes

askinnyblackman:

things i used to laugh at

  • actual jokes

things i laugh at now

  • yard sard
2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 94250 notes

macklemore-fujisaki:

nogoodturkey:

there’s a copy of the declaration of independence on the bulletin board in my western civ class

image

today while my teacher was out of the room i stole it and put this up in its place

image

my teacher laughed and asked who took it but nobody told on me so i got away with it

image

i did it i stole the declaration of independence

nic cage is proud

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 201365 notes

ruinedchildhood:

Number 2, super-sized Hurry up I’m starving.

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 100975 notes

  • People outside the U.S.: The fuck is going on in America?
  • People inside the U.S.: The fuck is going on here?
2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 54037 notes

my-dads-the-king-of-hell:

my-dads-the-king-of-hell:

so apparently an arm can sell on the black market for $885, ($500 for the shoulder plus $385 for the hand an forearm) 

and a leg can sell for $500 (at least thats the lowest price of an albino leg so im guessing here) 

So when someone says “That’ll cost an arm ad a leg” they are roughly asking for $1,335

which is less than i would have guessed. 

i didn’t spend this much time researching the cost of limbs on the black market for one note

2 days ago on Aug 17, 14 - 44575 notes