• straight couple: *make out in public at random intervals in weird places*
  • straight couple: *grabs each other's asses in public*
  • straight couple: *are not in any way inconspicuous about the fact that they are feeling each other up in public*
  • gay couple: *holds hands in public*
  • straight people: that is VILE and it is CORRUPTING my entire FAMILY. my grandmother is crying. my children have all shit their pants at the same time. WHO WILL THINK OF THE CHILDREN
1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 118566 notes


shanology:

bilesandthesourwolf:

whizzbees:

Currently drinking: The best Butterbeer I have ever tasted.

image

I just made this and it’s absolutely delicious! 

ilearnedthatfromthepizzaguy sgt-buckys-eyeliner colleenbeanreads

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 136505 notes

via notenuf, from arienreign

dersekingdom:

hello 911 I want to report a theft. yes. A cutie stole my heart. No. I just want the cutie back.  They can keep my heart. Okay. Thank you. Yes. I’ll stay on the line.

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 77856 notes

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 105479 notes

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 81014 notes


glennfreysgroupie:

what if your url somehow had something to do with your future

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 449218 notes

via notenuf, from krl-vnzla

ask-the-flesh-thief:

j0ye:

OKAY SO I’M GONNA DROP A STORY ON Y’ALL 

MY FOLLOWERS KNOW THAT I’M PRETTY UNIQUE LOOKING

I HAVE A GNARLY UNDERCUT, A SHORT HAIRCUT, AND AS OF YESTERDAY MY HAIR IS BRIGHT PURPLE, AND I TEND TO WEAR CLOTHES OF THE ALL-BLACK-SHORT-SKIRTS-THIGH-HIGHS-INTIMIDATING-HEAD-BITCH-IN-CHARGE VARIETY

MY FOLLOWERS ALSO KNOW THAT I HAVE A RAD LITTLE THREE-YEAR-OLD SON NAMED OLIVER WHO IS MY WORLD

ONE DAY, OLIVER AND I WERE AT THE STORE, AND WE WERE WALKING PAST THE CEREAL, SINGING A SONG TOGETHER AND OVERALL JUST BEING CUTE BECAUSE WE’RE FUCKING ADORABLE, AND THIS MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WAS WALKING THE OTHER WAY WITH HER HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER. I’M USED TO PEOPLE STARING AT ME, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING I WAS ROCKING BLUE HAIR AND A OUIJA BOARD SHIRT AND A HELLA CUTE VELVET MINISKIRT THIS SPECIFIC DAY, SO I IGNORED HER GLARING AT ME AND CONTINUED ON LOOKING AT THE PANDA PUFFS

THEN I STARTED HEARING HER MUTTER UNDER HER BREATH ABOUT ME, SAYING STUFF LIKE, “Irresponsible teen mom couldn’t keep her legs closed” AND, “Her son is going to be so messed up because she has absolutely no self-respect”

NORMALLY I JUST LET IT GO, BUT THAT DAY OLIVER AND I WERE SINGING THE SHINS SO I WAS IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD AND FELT CONFIDENT, SO I STOPPED MY CART AND SAID, “Excuse me, did you say something?”. SHE KINDA STARTED BLUSHING AND SAID NO, TO WHICH I REPLIED, “Well, it seems you kinda did say something. Something about me being irresponsible and not having respect for myself?” AND THIS WOMAN WAS BRIGHT RED AT THIS AND HER HUSBAND WAS JUST TRYNA HURRY HER ALONG AT THAT POINT BUT I HELLA WAS NOT GONNA LET HER GET AWAY WITH SHIT TALKING ME SO I SAID, “You know, I do respect myself. I have my hair like this because I respect myself enough to do it and have the confidence to pull it off, and I dress like this because I respect the fact that I have killer legs that I don’t want to hide just because some old crows glare at me over it. My self-respect has nothing to do with my parenting ability, but if it did, I’d say it’s been a positive correlation because my son is respectful of everyone and doesn’t judge people based on their appearances. He knows that people look how they do because that’s just how they want to look, and that’s how all three-year-olds are until they get to the age where they see the fact that their parents are scowling at a girl who has bright hair, or a boy who wears a skirt, and that’s the age where they become insufferable assholes like you.” AND LET ME JUST SAY THIS WOMAN’S JAW DROPPED FASTER THAN THE TRIX BOX SHE WAS HOLDING AS I FUCKIN SASHAYED OUT WITH MY PANDA PUFFS AND CARRIED ON SINGING~*~*~

//you’re my hero

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 418616 notes

stand:

is that fred

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 157454 notes

via kingsleyyy, from funoux

nobodylovesringostarr:

That was my nickname is high school

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 127907 notes

via notenuf, from izahbel

izahbel:

Got a pot bellied pig a few days ago!! ^_^
This is the first time her and Sunny Bunny met! :3

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 8424 notes

via notenuf, from nancydrevv

queenidinamenzel:

I have never related so much to a Domino’s ad before.

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 184319 notes

via kingsleyyy, from kngshxt

titytwochainz:

when u aint have ur phone for a long time and expect to come back to come back to hella notifications but remember u lame

image

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 139101 notes

via notenuf, from beautypeen

beautypeen:

listen, i’m never going to let you use my laptop idk what exactly i have to hide but i’m 200% sure there’s something

1 day ago on Sep 16, 14 - 413919 notes